this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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