so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
