There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
im holly from the hills drunk
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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