My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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