There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Help. Why am I so naked?
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