quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
porn star boner night. come get it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
