My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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