covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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