just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
