All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
