We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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