told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
