You really coming over, don't trick.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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