Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
