random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
