I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
