Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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