Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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