that's an acceptable place to lick
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
