weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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