ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
