just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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