i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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