yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
