It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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