So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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