TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
