other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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