We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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