i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
