As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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