i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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