Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
