even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
