he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
