so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
