I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
