Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
