And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
