It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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