dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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