i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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