That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
