I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
