I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
