this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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