worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
