wrigley field is MILF paradise
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The Olympian is in my bed
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
