Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
