I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
