I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
