i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
What a dumb baby whore.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
