super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
