gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
