I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
