I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
