He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize