Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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